There's A Little BIT here fOR EVERYONE.

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I'm not here to whine - maybe sometimes, a little bit - I'm just
here to share my little mishaps, tragic mistakes and my colorful comebacks..just enough to give you a peek of The Life and Crises of A Young Twenty Something mom, student, daughter and dreamer.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Ah, To Be A Hypocrite

[This post is from my previous blog. And I was thinking of moving all my other posts here. i've only just remembered them, and i now have a kick at the memories of coming to write them. so, here goes. . .]

Hypocrites, we all know, are the people we are so fond of throwing rocks at. We happily deem them to be the bad guys, the evil ones who burn the hottest in hell. We sometimes feel better at their expense, knowing they are always there to make us feel that we're not so bad and we are not the most pathetic persons in the world just yet. They are one of the few pick-me-uppers we use to convince ourselves that we are one of the good guys. Who can blame us? They are hypocrites afterall, the ones who condemned a God.
In my own personal definition hypocrites are people who doesn't necessarily feel they are nice and perfect.

Type 1: There are, of course, those who do feel they are nice and perfect. They seem to look at other people through their noses. They 'tsk-tsk' and think to themselves, "How can people live that way? Weren't they taught values, have they no morals? Why, I can never imagine why God allowed them to be created in the first place!" *sniff-sniff*

Type 2: Then some, which are born in the contemporary society are much less idealistic but much much more hateful. These are the ones who admit they're not perfect, hell they even like to roll on the dirt themselves on occasion ('occasion'-which is very loosely defined by themselves and may not necessarily be spaced generously apart) and sometimes due to helplessness towards temptation. they may have screwed their lives badly ranging from trailer trash or a reformed spinster or the stubborn neurotics who also have had failed relationships like back to back episodes of a TV series marathon. And to escape the hurt caused by the magnitude of mess their lives became, they lash out at the younger generation who seems to have started a path towards where their lives already are. They mercilessly and deliberately point out every single fault of the newbies and they condemn making sure the whole world saw, heard, and remembered.

Type 3: These people which we aptly named as the newbies above are those who screwed their lives early and are harassed by the pioneering hypocritical failures a.k.a. the Type 2s. They deliberately say that although they messed up big time, they are still not as bad as the type 2s because at least they are young which means they still have enough of life to straighten out (or to mess up even more).and that they had morals but had just dipped into the dark side for the adventure, got burned before pulling out of it and now are paying for their mistakes. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't also think that they're better than those who threw themselves completely to the dark side and be bad enough to fight fire with fire in order to preserve their perfect facades. They seem to believe that they are better people than the latter and that they are much more likely to be saved and be reconciled to the good graces of what the society calls a "good" person.

So, as much as I have enjoyed painting pictures of different hypocrites that live silently among us, it wouldn't be right to step back and not admit that I don't see myself a little in one of the types above (when actually the definitions are obviously in line with my own life). And it would absolutely promote me to the type 1 of the above definitions. Okay, I admit I'm a hypocrite at times and I've regretted having to use others in times when i hit rock bottom. It's a silently addictive habit to look at people through the nose but the fact remains that whatever dirt we find in them does nothing to erase those that have clung to ourselves. My life won't get better by identifying the flaws of others'. So I'm hoping I'm right when I think I'm not in too deep yet.

Ah, to be a hypocrite is both a delicious and deadly sin; but it damn better be deadly if I'm going to sin at all. Also it is like revoking one's sight, invite and nurse bitterness and to throw away the possibility of being saved.